I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
