READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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