Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
