i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
