oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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