I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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