does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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