You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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