Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
