I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
