Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
