Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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