Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize