Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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