Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
