I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
