i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
