She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
