i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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