She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
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When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm too high and old for this...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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