Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize