he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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