Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
