Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
