I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
