she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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