You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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