Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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