something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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