VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize