forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
