i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
