his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
