So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
