Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
