I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
