So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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