pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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