This girl is more easily done than said...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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