We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
