you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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