Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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