New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
