wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
