are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
