I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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