i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
