His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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