did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My pussy is not your playground.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
