So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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