I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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