I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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