This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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