i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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