Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
