The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
