she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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