this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
