I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
