oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
