I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
As shirtless as possible
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
