How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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