OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize