I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
