Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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