haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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