he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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