We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
